How To Build A Stronger Network
A few weeks ago, a client asked me what he should do to build a stronger network. He was bumping up against a roadblock at work and realized that he didn’t have the support he needed to overcome the challenge.
When I asked him if anyone in his network might be able to help, I could hear the regret and frustration in his voice. He knew who he needed to reach out to but felt like they wouldn’t support him.
“I haven’t talked to these people in years,” he confessed as he buried his face in his hands. “To be honest, I’ve neglected my network completely.” he said. “I know I should have been reaching out, and I wanted to, but I could never find the time and when I tried to make time, I got stuck because I didn’t know where to begin.”
He knew that action was needed to build a strong network but he was afraid to take action. He just needed a systematic way to re-engage.
So we got to work, outlining a framework he could use to think about his network and a series of actions he could take to build and maintain it.
THE FRAMEWORK
As the conversation unfolded, we agreed that a strong network is made up of three components.
1. Five Friends.
This is your inner circle. It is made up of 5 professional colleagues who evolved into great friends. They work in environments similar to yours, share your passions and serve similar customers. They see the world as abundant and enjoy collaborating with you and others in your inner circle.
2. Close Colleagues. This is a select group of less than 100 people who you know, like and trust. They are people you know through professional endeavors and people you can call on for help. When you call them they pick up the phone and you do the same for them. They are there for you, and you for them, but you may only connect occasionally - maybe once per quarter.
3. Mega Mentors. This is the group of people you look up to but don’t know intimately. They may be authors you read, teachers you learn from, or industry leaders you admire. Measuring in at less than 20, this group of individuals is known to you but you are likely unknown to them. They are, however, people you actively want to know and connect with because you want to learn from them and help them in some way.
I see this as a Venn diagram with three overlapping circles. When the circles expand and overlap you get a strong and supportive network.
But if any of the circles shrink or disintegrate all together you won’t reap the rewards that a network provides.
If you are lacking five friends, or neglect the friends you have, you won’t have the connection you need to keep you going. You’ll feel unplugged - like a lightbulb without electricity - and you’ll fail to operate effectively.
If you are lacking close colleagues, or push people away, you won’t have the collaboration you need to get things done. You’ll tackle every task on your own and quickly feel overworked and overwhelmed.
If you are lacking mega mentors, or feel afraid to connect with successful people, you won’t have the inspiration you need to lead and succeed. You’ll fail to innovate and struggle to find solutions to problems.
You can get by for a time without one of the three components, but without action it would eventually break apart.
THE ACTIONS
If you want to build a strong network you must take action. You must invest in each component - essentially expanding each circle in the Venn diagram - in order to reap the benefits. Fortunately, taking action doesn’t have to be difficult. You can build and maintain a strong network by following three simple steps:
1. Send Simple Emails. Reach out to others in a clear and concise way. Avoid the temptation to say too much. Simply saying: “Hey name, I was thinking about you yesterday. How are you doing?” Is plenty. People will appreciate knowing that they are top of mind.
2. Pick Up The Phone. You can use email to connect but conversations should occur on the phone. If people reply to your email, quickly schedule a time to jump on a call. There is no substitute for face-to-face or voice-to-voice communication. You can use a tool like CALENDLY to make it easier to schedule or ZOOM if you want to meet face-to-face over the web. But don’t let the technology get in the way! Just pick up the phone and give them a call.
3. Ask Good Questions. Good questions are open ended and based on genuine curiosity. Ask questions like: how have you been?, what are you up to?, or what are you working on these days? Good open ended questions get good conversations going.
My client was afraid to reach out to his network because he felt like he had nothing to say or share with them. He didn’t want to come across as selfish, and felt that he might if he only reached out when he needed something. What he didn’t realize was that the substance of the conversation mattered more than the purpose or intent. When he finally jumped on the phone and asked a few good open ended questions about his colleagues, they reciprocated and were happy to help.
